I hope to convey the sense for anticipation this day brings.
Time as one grows older is less and less useful and more and more grave.
As a youth time seemed to go on forever. I remember trying to hold my breath and being amazed at how long 1 minute seemed. I remember days that would last and last and last until I got hungry and ran home for supper. I remember looking at adults who were so much larger than I and table tops that I could not see above. But those days are long past.
As I got older I noticed everything around me shrinking in size. Time did too. I found I could not remember as much. I found that not as much seemed to happen each day. I was board and unimpressed with life.
As an adult, for a moment that changed. Everything changed. I saw the world, made new friends, learned music, dancing and a new language. I became and individual with insatiable quests for new knowledge, new experiences, and new feelings. The moment passed.
I fell in love and started life anew and as a new family grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and grew. My focus changed from me to them and the quality of time I once knew seemed to move to my children. I seemed to slow down. Time kept pace however and here I find myself nearly 50 and I can't keep track of even the most important moments in my family's lives. I rarely get my own age right unless I use a calculator.
Today, it seems, time is sprinting for the finish line. Rarely do I look up from the race to what is passing me by. I sleep, work and repeat. What happened to eating? I must be doing it sometime, because I keep gaining weight.
I am old enough now to know that this trend will continue until on my death bed I give up to time's ultimate demand and sleep beyond this earthly iteration. I ask myself,"What have I amounted to? I don't dare say for I have started something that will never cease and that is not fully in my control. I am proud of my family and all that they will someday become. I pray they will remember me and follow my good example. This life is a wonder and then it moves on.
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